It’s finally nearly over, the horror show that is January!

It’s hard to tell whether January seems depressing because the weather is crappy and cold and the party season is over and no one has any money, or if the media just tells us we should feel a bit rubbish. Which FYI is why I will never participate in ‘dry January’ because frankly it’s not the month in which to take away alcohol if you ask me!

Either way there is no denying I am so glad to be at the end of the month now. Not only is it nearly payday but it’s less than 2 weeks until my birthday yay!

One thing that I am pleased about from this month though is my ability to motivate myself to go to the gym and eat reasonably well. I know you’re all rolling your eyes thinking ‘New Years resolution, will never last’ but I am pretty confident that is not the case.

I have accepted that my metabolism is not what it used to be and that I am nearly 27 and it’s no longer ok for my body if I eat pizza and chips every night. Why now? Well, looking at myself in the mirror I know that i can do better. And I know that I will feel so much better when I do.

I was pretty happy with my body over summer (shape that is, we will leave the vitiligo woes out of this one). I didn’t have washboard abs but my stomach was flat and had some definition. Now feel like I have to suck my stomach in to look even close to that.

With a big adventure trip to Cuba booked for april, I don’t want to spend the time there wishing I looked better or coming back hating all the pictures of myself.

So I believe that I can make this motivation last until at least that trip. And then there will be the next. And the next.

I have managed 15 trips to the gym this month and I went out running a few times over the Christmas break. I went 8 times in September, 7 in October, 5 in November and 4 in December. So I’m pretty pleased with my efforts this Jan!

It’s easy to feel complacent about something you’ve never really had to work for before and I’m so impressed now with everyone who sets huge goals for their fitness, whether that is losing large amounts of weight or gaining muscle or doing a couch to 5k programme.

So to go forward, I am looking backwards, to the more confident version of me. After all, as Mama Ru says, if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gona love somebody else, can I get an amen?